Point-Of-View: Friendships and Honesty

One thing admirable about friendships is that you can be honest with each other without feeling uncomfortable or scared. There is a point that this kind of honesty gets on your nerves, but there is also a point when unfortunately (and unexpectedly), it becomes disrespectful.

Those are the kind of honesty that are admirable if delivered well. If you were concerned with the person then your honesty may hurt but you will be very careful not to add an edge on the honesty sword that you'll stab on that person. It is just like how a  mother would scold her child about a misconduct than tie him upside down and hit him with a paddle so he won't do it again.

Simple as that.
But since this is about honesty in terms of friendship, we have to look at it on another perspective.

You have first to figure out if this person is really honest, it takes time and proper observation, which you are able to do on the first stages of your friendship, and which you can only finalize a conclusion is the friendship lasts longer than expected or when it ends.

Source: Movatar.com

Now, the tricky part here is how they deliver honesty. Nicely or not. If nicely, that friend may either express concern or display weakness. If not, that friend may seem really sure about his/her observations or what he is saying, either wants to see the change regarding that honesty immediately (ex. You're having a hard time moving and breathing because you are so overweight, you look like a pig! How many times do I have to tell you to get some exercise!")

Another tricky part here is if their honesty really intends to help, or if they are using this as a back-up to justify their wants to insult you, belittle you, discourage you, disrespect you, or criticize you. Why would some other people want that? I don't know.

For some reason, I do love honesty but be careful on how you deliver it. You must be honest, but be careful who you are hurting, and remember that it's your friend you are talking to.

Your honesty must display concern (if you really are concerned), and not be just because you want to enjoy yourself with the benefit you'll get from  it.

There is a difference between: "What kind of grades are that? You should study hard, you fool! Don't just fuck around, will you? Get your ass up and do your school works!" and, "You're so stupid, look at you, your grades are better at scuba diving than you! Know what? You are so stupid you probably don't have anything inside that brain of yours to make you graduate from your course! You are so dumb and stupid and I bet your brain gets toasted everytime you try to think hard!"

See how honesty should work?

P.S. Forgive me for using cursing words. Just being my good, 'ol straight talking, sharp-tongued writer.